you guys were way drunker than both of me
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
