if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
