3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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