Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
