you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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