i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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