it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
