just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
