i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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