Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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