I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
