Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Randomize
