The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
