dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
