yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
These tits shall not be calmed
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
