im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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