North Korea, Best Korea!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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