I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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