dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
