Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
