I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
