Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Actions speak louder than pants.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
