Will you blow on my dice?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
