his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
