Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
