I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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