how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
