things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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