Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
