party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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