yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
