but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
