nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
A bitchslap is in order.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
