My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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