Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
