I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
