I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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