I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
