it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
