So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
