I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
