Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
