Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
