Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
