Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
