Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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