that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
