Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
