Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
