i just made my gag reflex go away.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
